This man would be no use in a
Supermarket Sweep challenge!
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In 1936, Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) is in Peru, trying to “retrieve” (also known as “stealing”) a valuable idol, lost deep in the jungle. He’s double-crossed, left for dead, and has to escape a massive boulder, as he’s no good at guessing the weight of a small, golden statuette (I bet Cash for Gold would have given him £12-fiddy for it). The main swerve comes just after he’s escaped the boulder to be confronted by French archaeologist Dr. René Belloq (Paul Freeman). He and his hired help “retrieve” the idol for themselves. laughing in an evil way, to show they're bad guys. Dr. Jones runs off and flies away with his whip and a snake between his legs (in a plane, he’s not a bird mutant, that would be weird).
Evil, but dashing!
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Back at his day job as a University/College lecturer, a perfect cover for a grave robber, his students make inappropriate passes at him., whilst he gives infrequent lectures on lost art and archaeology. He is approached by Dr. Marcus Brody (Denholm Elliott) to meet with two Army agents, who want to talk to him, probably about his gold fixation. But no, it turns out that his old tutor, Abner Ravenwood, is in danger from Nazis who want something in his possession. They figure out that as he owned “The staff of Ra”, and that the Nazi’s were probably looking for the fabled Ark of the Covenant. Due to its mystical properties, it’s a formidable weapon, which could make any army invincible (cue spooky music).
Indian goes to Nepal in search of Abner, with a Nazi in tow (see what happens when you sleep on a plane, not something I would do), where he finds Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen), bar owner, daughter of Abner. She is now in possession of the Staff of Ra as Abner is dead, sad times that are swept under the rug. But Indiana is not getting the medallion any time soon, as Marion holds a grudge over the way that her "inappropriate" relationship with Indiana had previously ended. After kicking him out, Arnold Thoht (Ronald Lacey) and Nazi soldiers arrive and try to “retrieve” said staff, along with a bit of torture (no laughs at this point). Cue the return of Dr. Jones, big fight ensues, Nazis are branded, the medallion is rescued but Marion’s bar is burnt down in the process. So, she gives the medallion to Indiana, but as he burnt down her bar, she’s coming along for the ride.
Fight or toilet, what a choice.
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Next stop, Egypt! They meet up with Sallah (John Rhys-Davies), another “retriever” of items for museums, bad boy that he is, but loveable too. He has a monkey, this is a subplot. They are in a race against time, as Belloq and the Nazis are there, looking for the “Well of Souls”. They know this is the key to finding the Ark of the Covenant, spooky music, moody Indiana with a bad belly, drama. There is a brief meeting between Belloq and Jones, Marion is kidnapped/killed in an explosion (similar to what was happening in real life for Harrison Ford, as he had a jippy tummy), and the monkey turns out to be a Nazi spy and accidentally eats poisoned food intended for Indiana. Never trust cutie animals, Scooby-Doo is probably a closet Tory.
I hope he's got some sunscreen on!
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Due to Indiana realising that the Nazis still need the medallion to find the Well of Souls, he figures he still should look for the Ark. Never mind mourning your dead ex-girlfriend, looking for a shiny trinket weapon is more important! With the Staff of Ra completed with a big stick, it's a map that will show anyone who’s in the right place, at the right time, the exact location of the Ark. So, they go to the Nazi digging site, where Indiana finds Marion is alive (there was much rejoicing), promptly leaving her, so not to stop him finding the Well of Soul. What a bastard! The said bastard found the Ark site in a dramatic scene with a model and sunlight, which led to him finding (dum, dum, dum) the Ark. But, the Nazis and Belloq “retrieve” the Ark from Indiana, rough up Sallah, and throw Marion into the Well of Souls with a lot of snakes. Spooky music, C-3PO & R2-D2 hiding the hieroglyphics, lots of screaming - standard.
Being the resourceful chap he is, Indiana and Marion escape their snakey death, Indiana and Marion chase the Nazis by air, sea, and land until a Belloq gets sick of their constant pursuit. After Indiana stops them whilst holding a bazooka, he dares Dr. Jones to destroy the Ark, knowing he won’t as he’s too committed to the preservation of knowledge and artefacts. Know thy enemy and you will know yourself! The Nazis capture Indiana and Marion, taking them along to secret location where Belloq is going to “test” the Ark. Why did he not just be done with them there, is a mystery, but it proves to be a flaw (sort of, I'll get to that).
Shits about to get real, time to hide!
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So, on an unspecified island in the Aegean Sea, Indiana and Marion are tied to a post, whilst Belloq recites the ritual to open the Ark. At this point, Dr. Jones tells Marion to close her eyes, which they both promptly do. After thinking that the ritual has failed, Angels come out of the Ark and proceed act all nice and then they MELT THE NAZIS and make Belloq’s head explode. The Angels leave Indiana and Marion alone, go back into the sand and the Ark closes. The film ends with the Ark is in the ends of the Americans, locked in Area 51, whilst Dr. Jones and Marion walk away after Jones and Brody have been given hush money. End film, roll credits, da-da-da-DA-da-da-daaaaaaa......
For a detailed plot, you can look at the Wikipedia page here.
Pros
+ This is a classic movie, in terms of visual effects, storytelling and iconic moments. At the time of its release, the public loved it and it was an international smash. Not hard to see why it's a joy to the eyes in terms of love letters to the silver screeen.
+ Because of the lack of computers at the time, the effects/models were used to fantastic effect. Whilst the melting Nazis still scares me to this day (more on that later), I cannot fault them, as they worked so well!
See, beards are cool!
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+ As the story is basic, it’s very effective. The basic idea is an Action Saturday drama the influenced George Lucas and Steven Spielberg into becoming filmmakers. It a swashbuckling drama, plot not too deep, plenty of action, and the hero goes into the sunset. Somethings don’t need to be complicated, they just need to be to the point. This is something that George Lucas will lose over the years, see Attack of the Clones for proof.
+ The action sequences (the boulder scene, looking for Marion in Egypt, burning bar barney, etc) are excellent, with lots of quotable lines too. How many people have wanted to do the scene with the man flourishing a sword, only to be ad-libbed shot as Harrison Ford had the trots that day? See, there is a good side to food poisoning.
Boo, bad guys!!!!
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+ Paul Freeman as Dr. René Belloq is one of the best pieces of film casting ever. Yes, he is a flat two-dimensional villain who's only on the side of the Nazis as he wants to find the Ark first. He's only doing it for the glory, and to beat Dr. Jones once again. He is, after all, merely the shadowy version of Jones. To be honest, that character should have fallen flat on its thin arse! However, Paul Freeman fills the role in a way that makes him dashing, dynamic, and dare I say it, sympathetic to a certain degree. Both he and Indiana Jones are after the same thing, the pursuit of the Ark and to have their names attached to its legend. He's just cast as the bad guy in this one, but he can wear a white suit in a way that I cannot.
She could drink us all under
the table and still be up the
next day to have a fry up!
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+ Karen Allen's portrayal of Marion Ravenwood was spot on. She can drink people under the table, is never useless, and is willing to beat up anyone who wants to fight her. I always thought they should have made a spin-off of adventure with her too, instead of The Temple of Doom (that review will be coming soon).
Cons
- The Big Bang Theory ruining this. If you’ve not seen the episode (Season 7, Episode 4 The Raiders Minimization), here is the spoiler. The characters Sheldon Cooper and his girlfriend Amy Farrah Fowler watch Raiders of the Lost Ark, Amy stuns Sheldon by pointing out the fact that Indiana Jones's actions have no effect on the ending of the movie. This is sadly true, cause if Dr. Jones was not there, the Nazis would have got the medallion sooner, found the Ark sooner and melted sooner. Whilst this has nothing to do with the contents of the film which onscreen, every time I think of it, I sigh a little. It really makes me sad that when you truly look at it, the theory holds water. This was the sort of flaw I was referring to before, even there, it made no difference. Damn you, Amy, damn you!
Just looking at this photo gives
me the shivers, not in a good way!
Please, someone, check my house for
melting bad guys!
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- Now, about those melting Nazis. Why is one of the most iconic moments in cinematic history in the cons? Well, you have to go back to 1981, an age where the internet didn’t exist, and a five-year-old Eddie saw in the cinema and screamed...a lot. To this day, I still get the shivers and nausea thinking about it. It’s not a real con to anyone but me, I get that. But this cons’ list is very short, so I need to add something here.
- Whilst you never need too much depth in these movies, it might have been nice to have Sallah have more of a backstory. No, just me again, okay.
- Are we going to discuss Marion saying “I was a child!” at Indiana when discussing their past relationship? No, just brushing it under the carpet? Okay........
Final Verdict
This is how you find Wally!
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Raiders of the Lost Ark is a classic, one of the cornerstones which both Spielberg and Lucas have rested their reputation on. For being a film that is influenced by those early cinematic shorts of years gone by, it's a love letter to a simpler time. A time where a man can pursue his dreams of finding treasure, be a lecturer on the side, have a dashing adventure, and wear a wide-brimmed hat in style! You're technically rooting for a grave robber, but he's the good guy, the American hero who is all about the pursuit of history, so stop your shouting!
Whilst I sound very sarcastic in that last sentence, I do hold this movie in high regard. Yes, some of it has started to date awfully, and I don't mean the effects (still terrified, damn your special effects team Lucas and Spielberg, damn them to hell). Yes, the "I was a child" has always made my skin crawl, always will. But in terms of iconic scenes, stupid, yet effective dialogue, Nazis melting, and short fights due to a jippy tummy, it's a true cornerstone of late 20th-century cinema. It won five Oscars and many other awards along the way, leading to three sequels of differing quality.
Sallah doesn't like the idea of a
the fifth film either!
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As I write this, there's a 5th film in this series being created, with Harrison Ford doing the fedora once more. I hoped that The Crystal Skull (which I will review at some point) would be the end of it. But no, Disney wants some Indiana Jones bucks to add to their treasure chest. I don't think I'm alone in saying I hope it doesn't happen. There does not need to be another movie! The end to the third one (The Last Crusade, again, a review will happen at some point) with him, his Dad, Brody and Sallah riding off into the sunset was perfect. But, that is a discussion for another day.
Thin plot aside and questionable moral judgments, Raiders of the Lost Ark is a film that will live on in history for years to come. It will continue to influence young directors and writers, in the same way, that Lucas & Spielberg were influenced by the source material. Hollywood has always loved a love letter to itself, this is no exception to that rule. So, if someone could confirm there are no melting Nazis in my house, I might be able to sleep with the light off tonight......
9 out of ten - Guaranteed to raise a smile, a quote and a laugh. But seriously, could someone check for the melting Nazis ghosts?????
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